Grace

I was looking forward to reporting on the wedding from Saturday night. But Sunday, Aiden was sick and by the afternoon, he wasn't breathing so well. So, I spent many hours into the late evening at the ER.

Aiden wasn't scary sick but the ER was scary sick. We made friends with others in the waiting room, we made friends with the woman who shared an examination room with us. She was scary sick. We heard her screaming and groaning as they tried the sixth attempt to get a line in her. It was horrendous. I was reading Goodnight Gorilla to Aiden, trying to drown out her cries. He seemed unaffected but I was beside myself.


The woman behind the curtain of the hospital room had diabetes and had recently been released only to end up back in the hospital being jabbed a million times. She had bruises everywhere. She just found out her grandson was killed in Iraq, only two months after arriving.

I was also hungry. We hadn't eaten or had anything to drink for over 8 hrs. Not cool. Finally, apple juice, water and graham crackers. Mmm.

After the Xrays, we were told it might be a slight pneumonia or a bronchial thing. So we went home with some drugs and tried to go to bed. I had to pack for my trip to Kansas City.

I left before either boy woke up. Very upsetting. I missed all of Sunday to be with them. So now I am in Kansas City. Its cold. I'm reading a depressing, but beautifully written book about Joan Didion's loss of her husband while her daughter was in a coma. I know, nice.

BZ brought Aiden back to the doctor today to follow up and found he has real pneumonia, not maybe pneumonia, and an ear infection. So, there are now multiple inhalers and more drugs. He sure sounded chipper when I called (Aiden, that is). I hate to be away.

Neal and Carrie's wedding (yes, I am backtracking) was beautiful and probably one of the most moving experiences of my life. Saying it was an honor sounds cheap and hollow but it was amazing to be right there guiding them into marriage. It was indeed sacred. Carrie's father read from Elizabeth Barrett Browning. He chose a lovely and romantic poem and got pretty choked up. He told me later that my honoring/remembering Carrie's mother, his late wife opened up a crack in him. Her mother was a scientist, and now Carrie is a scientist. To be inside that much love and intensity of feeling was a bit scary and fantastic all at the same time. It felt great.


I am so lucky to have my life. I have spent the last 4 days bitching about my terrible haircut and, there is a woman who can't get an IV without being tortured for 2 hours. There's a young man being blown up in Iraq and Aiden is battling sickness without the ability to communicate his pain. I know you can't compare things in this way but I certainly need to put things in perspective. Its easy to focus on the negative but on the flip side are two newlyweds who are dripping in giddy love. That's really what its about.

As much as I hate my hair, I can avoid the mirror. Plus, I've got product.