9/12/11

Its Monday, September 12, 2011 and I'm flying to Detroit. I still feel depressed post 9/11 anniversary.

I'm not sure why it hit me so hard this year. Perhaps it's all the mean spirited politics we are experiencing, maybe it's the memories of that actual time ten years ago...

In late August, 2001, BZ and I got engaged in front of a large platter of paella. It was our last night in Barcelona, we were on our way home from one of the most romantic and happy trips I'd ever had.

After September 11th, I had such mixed emotions as we planned our wedding for the following spring. The world was in mourning, I was part of that mourning but I was also wanting to celebrate the fact that I found someone to spend my life with...finally.

We visited Ground Zero in the late fall of 2002. I was pregnant with Max, this was BZ's first trip to NY. It was bitterly cold. When we arrived on the platform and looked down at the pit of devastation, I completely fell apart. There were still the notes from families, handkerchiefs, flags, all sorts of mementos left. Lists of the missing...I felt such grief for my former hometown, for all that was lost. It was cold so we left pretty quickly and made our way to Battery Park to see the Statue of Liberty in the distance. Too cold for the ferry, so we opted for a cafe instead.

Last night I lit four small candles for each of the planes that went down. I told the kids that I wished for peace and love instead of all this fighting. Aiden said, "Love is bigger than anything." He also said "Chicken!" but then, that's Aiden. And I am grateful.





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